Last night, I was on the phone for hours with my friend. For the purpose of this post, let’s call her Anna. Anna is a vibrant young lady who has been married to Ekow (not his real name) for eight years. Oh you should see those two; they will make you believe in love all over again. There’s a little problem though Anna and Ekow have no children of their own. After spending a lot of money on medical tests, the results came as “unexplained infertility” and this was why we were on the phone for hours yesterday.
Anna had zillions of questions but top on her list was “Why did God allow this? Is this His will?”
Wikipedia defined unexplained infertility as “infertility that is idiopathic in the sense that its cause is unknown even after an infertility work-up, usually including a semen analysis in the man and assessment of ovulation and fallopian tubes in the woman”. In simple English, no one knows why they are dealing with infertility, except God and that explains Anna’s questions.
Infertility has a way of hitting you hard, add unexplained to the equation and the effect is almost fatal. It is like being punched where it hurts most by someone in an iron glove.
It is easy to blame God for infertility. After all, He created us so yeah, it’s His fault. It doesn’t help much that the bible basically says children are a gift. So in normal human reasoning, God decided to share this gift to everyone except the ones dealing with infertility. Nice!
However, on the other hand, the Bible does mention couples who dealt with infertility. From Hannah and Elkanah to Elizabeth and Zachariah. Even though these people eventually had their babies, there is no denying that some people may never have children of their own and others may. In all honesty, fertility and parenthood may not be in God’s plan for everyone. But if we trust God and His plan for our lives, we can just imagine Him repeat the words Elkanah spoke to Hannah: “and why do you weep? And why do you not eat? And why is your heart sad? Am I not worth not more than ten sons to you?”
I wish I had a clear cut answer for whether infertility is God’s will or not but I don’t. All I know is that, someday, whether here or heaven, it will make sense why you have to walk this path. It sucks I know. Especially since the Bible makes all these promises but I think of all the promises made in the Bible, none is bigger than the fact that, someday in heaven, Jesus himself will explain why you had to walk this path and He will console you and there will be no more sorrow or pain.
Someday, this too will make sense. Someday, this will just be a part of the story and sister, till then, cry when it hurts but you and I will probably, never get a clear answer on whether it is God’s will or not.
You see, there have been situations in the Bible which God allowed for His purpose, like the man who was born blind. So what this meant was, other pastors may have tried healing him BUT he was born blind to encounter Jesus. Instead of us trying to ask if God wills it or not, let’s ask how HE intends for us to work with it whilst we wait for this cup to pass us by because one day, it surely will.
I’m rooting for you, I’m praying with you and I am just here being your virtual side kick in this journey.
Lots of love and baby dust,