As a ttc woman, celebrations are the most difficult time.
Today I didn’t dread the time at the mosque, I was not scared of all the cute children and I didn’t have to think about which of them ‘s age might correspond to my child.
I didn’t think about how I will have to be smiling through all the various greetings and suggestive gestures of my ttc.
I felt free for a long time COVID-19 Ramadan and Eid wasn’t so bad after all.
Well I wish I knew it was not that easy to have children. When we were young they made it seem like you look at a Man and you get pregnant.
First time I repeatedly heard” kukuo no b) a na as3e na nsuo no hwie gu a 3ny3 hwee. (Meaning its only a problem when the pot breaks but if its contents pour, there is nothing wrong.) And nothing more was said. I still don’t get it. I was told to leave to God.
I have this fear of something going wrong. 40weeks of pregnancy, contractions and pushing the baby out have never been enough for me until I hear baby’s cry and get body contact.
Honestly, after that incident, I have never felt confident until my baby drops and I hear its cry.
Growing up I thought one would meet someone, get married and have children automatically. To me, it was a cycle. …I realized the birth part wasn’t so automatic!
I was like oh my God! and said well you know Lord I thank you but, it’s not within my power to keep him so that’s your job so I’m gonna trust you now. I’ll ask you to just keep this little baby and the Lord did that he kept that little baby. Phillip came in November 1st and I was just like oh my God how awesome how awesome you are.
Church was awkward because people were always telling me they were praying for me and hoping that God would bless me with a child. At first, I was encouraged and then I was tired of hearing it because I was no longer praying that for myself.
When it doesn’t work it can be absolutely devastating. There are so many women hiding in plain sight suffering in silence. Nobody wants the world, to think that they’re defective or less than a perfect woman or less than capable. There’s just so much shame and mystery and guilt that surrounds fertility issues, that’s why I wanted to include it in my book because I’m tired it needs to stop.
My married life was very terrible because he started treating me like a dog. His father said he needed grandchildren so he should go and remarry. From there he started beating me all the time and insulting me. One night he tried to kill me with his bare hands, he pressed me till I could not shout or move. it’s just by the grace of God that I am alive.#breakingthesilence
Your privates are no more private. You cling to your health with hormones racing through your body.